Healing After Devastating Loss

We see clients in many stages of life – from grandmothers to mothers to be. Unfortunately for many, they have experienced the devastating loss of their baby from miscarriages or birth complications. This is an extremely painful and deeply emotional experience for women. They often disconnect, emotionally, from their tummies which has physical effects on the body.

This is the story of Sarah, mother of one baby girl in heaven.

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I have always been an abs and obliques girl. Not considering myself an athletic person, I was very fit when it came to a strong, lean tummy. I topped my 500 situps in a row record in my teens and made a favorite the “insanity” exercise program… My core was strong and together, but very tight. I had never heard of a “transverse” before.

Being due to have our first baby in July, I heard of a class on how to “bounce back after having a baby” and went enthusiastically being always eager to learn how to keep a tight tummy. I met Bethany Learn (from Fit2B) there and had a paradigm shift, adding “transverse” to my vocabulary, realizing abs and obliques weren’t everything. Bethany checked me for a diastasis and I had a 3 finger separation already! (To check yourself for a diastasis, watch this video). At that time I bought a splint and tried to remember a couple things Bethany taught but did not pursue further.

In July I went into labor and after 5 long days and 9 cm, we transferred to the hospital for a cesarean and sadly lost our little girl. Needless to say, my core was tired; and I was physically and emotionally traumatized. I disconnected with my tummy and didn’t like to touch it, think about it or look at it. My scar was avoided above all. At that time I could fit a full hand in the separation of the transverse. I splinted because it felt good and that’s all I remembered how to do.

Three months after we lost our baby, I built up the courage to call Bethany at Fit2B and she referred me to Kelly Dean at The Tummy Team. I didn’t want to deal with that part of my body, but my desire to be healthy enough to have another baby spurred me on. That’s when my story of healing began.

Kelly was encouraging and supportive, making the “exercise as daily habits” seem attainable and easy. She encouraged me to start massaging my tummy and learning to reconnect to my core with engaging breathing which slowly began my healing both physically and emotionally.

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The most amazing part was that there was real measurable progress in just 2 weeks. 

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There are a few things Kelly said that really helped me have better follow through perseverance:

– “Even if you skip a day and don’t do any of the exercises, don’t be discouraged. Just pick up where you left off and keep going.”
– “You may confront new emotions when massaging your core; they are completely natural, just keep connecting until it feels normal.”
– “Just one step at a time.”
– “Stay long lean and lifted.”
– “I know its hard but you can do it.”
– “You are a daughter of the King.”
– “You have a lot of strength, you just need to connect to it again.”

Anyone can do it. Even the busiest mother. The key is being willing and The Tummy Team will teach you the tools and help you create habits to incorporate into daily tasks.

Over the next 6 weeks, it seemed as if I was learning all the basic tasks over. How to breathe, sit, stand, have a bowel movement, walk and even empty the dishwasher! I started to have amazing posture and people in my life noticed and even started having better posture too. My husband loves the “new me” and even reminds me when I forget to engage my core. I have become more graceful and tall, walking like the royalty that I now know I am.

I am approaching the 5-month mark since my little Kendrah went to be with Jesus. I am starting to feel whole again. My body feels connected to my heart and my mind. I love how my re-connection to my core has helped me reclaim myself in a new way, feeling better than I did before getting pregnant. I thank God for bringing healing through Kelly and I am looking forward to being a mother of many children when God sees fit.

I encourage anyone reading this to take a leap of faith for yourself, your children or your husband; because it is worth it. If you choose to, you can reclaim who you are one step at a time.

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Sarah did it and you can too. Kelly Dean, MPT and owner of The Tummy Team designed this program because of her own recovery from devastating loss. We understand and we can help.

Call our office (360-952-CORE) or take a look at our online core rehab courses.

Visit us online for more information.

Visit us online for more information.

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